If teacher bullying occurs within the system and peer bullying occurs within groups, then there is a more covert and even harder-to-escape form of bullying that happens within intimate relationships, especially within families. Whether it constitutes bullying depends not on the form but on the function: as long as a relationship is characterized by long-term significant power imbalance, unidirectional rule-setting, and the inability of the weaker party to appeal or withdraw, it is structurally bullying. Common manifestations of implicit bullying in families include: 1. Deprivation of the right to explain: children's behaviors and feelings are unilaterally defined by parents, with explanations seen as defiance, and subjectivity continuously undermined. 2. Responsibility sinking: conflicts default to children being at fault, with parents' emotions and stress transferred downward. 3. Personality labeling: mistakes are repeatedly revisited, eventually evolving into negative definitions of "what kind of person you are." 4. Public belittling: through teasing, exposing faults, or comparisons, children’s dignity is undermined in front of others. 5. Uncertain rules: standards fluctuate with emotions, but accusations are always valid, and children must be highly obedient to authority. 6. Conditional care: caregiving and effort are used as moral bargaining chips, exchanging obedience, grades, and attitudes. These behaviors may not seem intense individually but are long-term, unidirectional, and unresistible, thus constituting implicit bullying. The consequences are: children outsource their self-evaluation to authority, lose boundaries and subjectivity, and as adults, fear conflict, overly care about evaluations, and may even replicate controlling patterns. Any long-term family interaction that causes children to lose the right to explain, boundaries, and personal dignity—whether in the name of love or responsibility—is functionally a form of implicit bullying.
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If teacher bullying occurs within the system and peer bullying occurs within groups, then there is a more covert and even harder-to-escape form of bullying that happens within intimate relationships, especially within families. Whether it constitutes bullying depends not on the form but on the function: as long as a relationship is characterized by long-term significant power imbalance, unidirectional rule-setting, and the inability of the weaker party to appeal or withdraw, it is structurally bullying. Common manifestations of implicit bullying in families include: 1. Deprivation of the right to explain: children's behaviors and feelings are unilaterally defined by parents, with explanations seen as defiance, and subjectivity continuously undermined. 2. Responsibility sinking: conflicts default to children being at fault, with parents' emotions and stress transferred downward. 3. Personality labeling: mistakes are repeatedly revisited, eventually evolving into negative definitions of "what kind of person you are." 4. Public belittling: through teasing, exposing faults, or comparisons, children’s dignity is undermined in front of others. 5. Uncertain rules: standards fluctuate with emotions, but accusations are always valid, and children must be highly obedient to authority. 6. Conditional care: caregiving and effort are used as moral bargaining chips, exchanging obedience, grades, and attitudes. These behaviors may not seem intense individually but are long-term, unidirectional, and unresistible, thus constituting implicit bullying. The consequences are: children outsource their self-evaluation to authority, lose boundaries and subjectivity, and as adults, fear conflict, overly care about evaluations, and may even replicate controlling patterns. Any long-term family interaction that causes children to lose the right to explain, boundaries, and personal dignity—whether in the name of love or responsibility—is functionally a form of implicit bullying.