I’m telling everyone to grab popcorn because in one hour the CPI number is about to walk onto the stage like the final boss of the week 🤡📊 expected around 2.7% YoY but nobody in this market ever behaves properly so let’s be honest, chaos is loading…
If this thing comes in hotter than 2.7%, say hello to “higher for longer” again, rate cuts start running away like they owe money, dollar flexes its muscles 💪 and risk assets get that awkward red candle haircut 👎 crypto traders start tweeting conspiracy theories, Nasdaq starts sweating, and everyone suddenly remembers what inflation actually means 🥵
If it comes in cooler than 2.7%, that’s when the party lights turn on 🎉 disinflation gets the spotlight, traders start pricing cuts faster than you can refresh TradingView, bonds chill out, stocks start flirting with ATHs again 👍 and crypto goes from dead to “I always believed in this project bro” in 5 minutes 😂
Now if CPI lands exactly where expected, that’s the most evil outcome of all 😈 because the market will just range like a bored cat, no direction, fake breakouts everywhere, stop losses hunted like it’s open season 🐱🎯 and we all sit there asking why we didn’t just go outside today 🤝
So place your bets mentally, thumbs ready, heart rate slightly elevated ⏳📈 is it going to be green, flat, or red… because in one hour Jerome Powell won’t even need to speak, one number will do all the talking 😆🔥
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I’m telling everyone to grab popcorn because in one hour the CPI number is about to walk onto the stage like the final boss of the week 🤡📊 expected around 2.7% YoY but nobody in this market ever behaves properly so let’s be honest, chaos is loading…
If this thing comes in hotter than 2.7%, say hello to “higher for longer” again, rate cuts start running away like they owe money, dollar flexes its muscles 💪 and risk assets get that awkward red candle haircut 👎 crypto traders start tweeting conspiracy theories, Nasdaq starts sweating, and everyone suddenly remembers what inflation actually means 🥵
If it comes in cooler than 2.7%, that’s when the party lights turn on 🎉 disinflation gets the spotlight, traders start pricing cuts faster than you can refresh TradingView, bonds chill out, stocks start flirting with ATHs again 👍 and crypto goes from dead to “I always believed in this project bro” in 5 minutes 😂
Now if CPI lands exactly where expected, that’s the most evil outcome of all 😈 because the market will just range like a bored cat, no direction, fake breakouts everywhere, stop losses hunted like it’s open season 🐱🎯 and we all sit there asking why we didn’t just go outside today 🤝
So place your bets mentally, thumbs ready, heart rate slightly elevated ⏳📈 is it going to be green, flat, or red… because in one hour Jerome Powell won’t even need to speak, one number will do all the talking 😆🔥
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